Early Childhood Opportunities to Build Leadership Through Play

A child who invites someone into a game, suggests a way to stop a block tower falling or listens to a friend’s idea is beginning to practise leadership. These small moments create early childhood opportunities to build confidence, care for others and make decisions together. For parents and whānau, supporting leadership does not mean encouraging children to take charge of every activity. It means giving them room to contribute, while helping them respect other people’s contributions too.

What leadership looks like before school

In the early years, leadership is less about directing a group and more about participating thoughtfully. A preschooler might explain an idea, ask for help, welcome another child or change a plan when something does not work.

A quiet child who brings the missing piece to a construction project is contributing just as meaningfully as the child explaining the design. Watching first, communicating through gestures and choosing when to join can all be part of participation.

This approach fits Te Whāriki, Aotearoa New Zealand’s early childhood curriculum. Its principle of Whakamana | Empowerment supports children’s growing capability, while Mana Tangata | Contribution emphasises equitable opportunities and learning with others.

Leadership should expand children’s choices, not become another expectation to perform. A child can lead sometimes, follow sometimes and choose to play independently at other times.

Everyday early childhood opportunities for shared leadership

Open-ended play gives children decisions worth making: what to build, how to organise a pretend shop or where water might flow. Adults can offer suitable materials and support without deciding every step. The following activities work at home or in an early learning setting.

Build something that needs more than one idea

Blocks, cardboard boxes and large construction pieces can become a bridge, animal shelter or imaginary town. Rather than choosing a project for children, notice what they are trying to achieve.

You might say, “You want the bridge to reach across. What could we try?” If two children have different plans, help them explain or demonstrate their ideas before testing them.

The useful leadership moment is not simply finishing the structure. It is making a suggestion, considering another possibility and deciding together what to try next. Avoid automatically making the oldest or most verbal child the project leader. A child arranging the base may have an idea that changes the whole build.

Use pretend play to practise negotiation

Pretend play creates early childhood opportunities to explore responsibility without assigning children real adult duties. A pretend café, veterinary clinic or bus journey invites children to discuss roles and make shared plans.

Instead of deciding who gets each role, ask, “What does everyone want to do?” Children may invent solutions adults would not have considered, such as having two bus drivers or a café where the cook also takes orders.

If someone is repeatedly excluded, step in rather than leaving children to solve everything alone. “There needs to be a way for everyone who wants to play to join” sets a clear boundary while leaving room for their ideas.

Follow a question outdoors

A garden, sandpit or patch of grass offers problems with more than one possible answer. Children might wonder how to carry water without spilling it or make a shelter for toy animals.

Invite a child to suggest the first experiment, then encourage others to add ideas. “Mia thinks the wider container will work. Does anyone want to test another one?” keeps the activity collaborative rather than competitive.

Adults remain responsible for checking materials, setting safety boundaries and supervising. Children can help choose a route through an appropriate play space, but they should not be responsible for deciding whether an unfamiliar area is safe. Shared decision-making works best within clear, adult-held limits.

Make room for children to teach one another

Some early childhood opportunities arise when a child discovers something and wants to share it. They might show a friend how to connect a tricky piece, make a mark in clay or balance a pretend picnic basket.

Ask before inviting them to demonstrate: “Would you like to show Sam what you tried?” Then give the other child a choice about accepting help.

Teaching should not turn into taking over. If a child reaches in and completes the task, try, “Can you show one part, then let Sam have a go?” This supports patience and clear communication while protecting both children’s independence. Being helpful does not mean doing everything for someone else.

How adults can guide without taking over

Children need responsive support, not a completely hands-off approach. The most useful early childhood opportunities often involve an adult noticing a difficult moment, offering a little language and then allowing time for children to respond.

Start by observing. Is a child asking for help, working through a manageable disagreement or becoming overwhelmed? Those situations need different responses. A pause may help one child find words, while another may need you beside them straight away.

During play	A helpful response	What it supports
Two children want their idea used	“Let’s hear each idea before we choose.”	Listening and shared decisions
One child directs every action	“What would your friend like to add?”	Making space for others
A child hangs back	“You can watch, join me or show us with the pieces.”	Participation without pressure
A plan fails	“What happened, and what could we change?”	Flexible problem-solving

Specific feedback is more useful than repeatedly calling a child “a natural leader”. Try, “You noticed there wasn’t room for everyone and moved the chairs.” This names an action the child can understand without giving them a fixed role to maintain.

Our guide to the role of an early childhood teacher in play and learning explores how observation and well-timed involvement can support children’s own thinking.

Make participation accessible to every child

A child should not need confident speech, quick responses or a love of group play to have influence. Offer different ways to contribute, such as pointing to materials, choosing between two objects, demonstrating an idea or sharing a suggestion with a familiar adult first.

For a child who finds busy groups tiring, a project with one peer may be more inviting. A familiar activity can also make it easier to contribute because the child already understands the materials and possibilities.

Equitable early childhood opportunities depend on adults noticing whose ideas get heard and whose are overlooked. Allow extra response time and avoid treating silence as agreement. If a child uses communication supports, keep those available during play, not only during organised activities.

Whānau can share how their child communicates preferences, offers help or takes responsibility at home. These insights help teachers recognise strengths that may look different in a group setting. Our article on helping every child belong explores this wider foundation for participation.

Notice growth without turning play into a test

Look for small changes across familiar situations rather than measuring children against one another. A child might begin to ask before taking materials, offer an idea after watching for a while or accept that a friend wants something different.

Other signs include returning to a shared project after a disagreement, seeking help before frustration escalates or inviting someone to contribute. None needs to happen every day. Tiredness, unfamiliar surroundings and the demands of a particular game can change how much support a child needs.

When reflecting on early childhood opportunities, ask, “Did my child have a meaningful choice?” and “Was there room for someone else’s idea?” These questions keep the focus on the experience rather than a leadership label.

Share concrete observations between home and the centre. “She asked her cousin which game he wanted” tells a teacher more than “She’s becoming a leader”. It also gives adults a useful starting point for supporting the next small step.

Frequently asked questions

Can toddlers practise leadership through play? Yes, in simple, supported ways. A toddler might choose which song comes next, show an adult where a toy belongs or invite someone to copy an action. Adults can acknowledge these contributions while supporting safety and helping with shared materials. Toddlers do not need to manage group decisions or settle disagreements themselves.

What if my child always wants to be in charge? Acknowledge their idea, then make space for others: “You have a plan. Now we need to hear what Ava wants.” Support clear boundaries around grabbing, excluding or controlling others. Avoid shaming a child as bossy. They may need help learning how to make a request, tolerate disappointment or negotiate a different plan.

What should I ask an early learning centre about leadership? Ask how teachers notice quieter children’s ideas, support disagreements and give children genuine choices during play. Request an everyday example rather than looking for a formal leadership programme. It is also useful to ask how teachers work with whānau to understand a child’s communication, interests and preferred ways of participating.

Explore play-based learning at Aubrey

The strongest early childhood opportunities do not require a badge, a performance or a designated person in charge. They grow from secure relationships, time to play and adults who value every child’s contribution.

Aubrey Early Learning Centre offers nurturing, play-based education with qualified early childhood teachers and nature-based outdoor play in a rural setting near Stillwater. Families in Stillwater, Silverdale, Dairy Flat and surrounding areas can enquire about care and learning at Aubrey and discuss their child’s interests, communication and ways of joining in.